The Muppets: The Nostalgia Connection

Well, I wasn’t expecting two reviews in a row covering my nostalgia but circumstances led me to this. I write these reviews in at least a week advance and occasionally two weeks advance since it usually the structure of the review I write out first and then I just edit it if my thoughts change on the subject or I have more to add to the initial review but unfortunately, I wasn’t able to upload last week’s review of “LiEat” on a week earlier as planned since my internet company decided to cut all of our connections for a week with no reason at all. Now, it doesn’t mean in this dilemma, I have the right to slack off so I gave myself the option of doing my school work or watching movies and if it wasn’t obvious, I chose the latter (after I did my school work) so I got a stack of movies and spent the spare time watching DVDs that we have stashed around the house and writing reviews to see if I can get anywhere and you are looking at the result of it. Yeah, “The Muppets” was the only one to inspire me to write something and that’s already a lie. “Mama Mia: The Movie” also inspired me to write on the basis that I have seen it so many times that I can talk about anything in the movie but I don’t believe my audience consist of 40 year old women yet so I’m stashing it for later down the line but for now, let’s go fishing for some nostalgia with puppet bait and WARNING, there is going to be numerous callbacks to “The Greatest Showman” so be prepared for more bashing as well spoilers but who would care about spoilers for a seven year old movie.

“The Muppets” is a live action Disney film and with this being a live action Disney film, you bet this a musical with a childish plot and characters because this was pre-Frozen Disney so they haven’t realised that their musicals belong in award winning animation and everything should be said with a sense of ironic self serving and not in horrible live action and whoops, I just showed my hand too early. Yeah, I’m not going to give this movie that much praise because this is flimsy and seems like an excuse to try and see of the old Muppet boat will still float or in layman’s terms, see if it can still rake in lots of money to justify keeping the series alive and because of this, the plot is very basic. We follow Walter and Gary who are massive Muppet fans (with Walter being the actual Muppet so guess what sort of connection that makes) who decide to visit the Muppet studios with Gary’s girlfriend, Mary. After Walter discovers that the bad guy’s plan for drilling oil in the studio, they decide to go and visit Kermit The Frog to convince him to gather the old gang and put on one more show to raise money to save the studio and we just checked off several check-boxes on the cliche list. I mean, I think the plot is played for laughs at most because the story has this very meta feeling plus the main bad guy’s name is Tex Richman so it has to be taking the piss. It just feels way too silly to be a straight faced kids movie so this has to be an ironic self parody which I believe is what all the critics saw in this movie because that’s the only way I can justify the 95% Rotten Tomatoes score or maybe the critics are just stupid. I grew up on the old Muppet movies and it seems like it’s just kind of ripping off that format but I’m not exactly sure. I’ll let you decide if the movie is just copying the old format but to quote myself from my “The Greatest Showman” review, “The plot is secondary as it’s simply there to string each musical piece” and I’m nothing if not consistent so let’s talk about the music. 

Well the music isn’t exactly terrible and the singing from the actors isn’t that bad either. I personally found the songs pretty catchy and fitting for the overall tone of the movie and still better than the soundtrack for “The Greatest Showman” but that’s not much of a compliment. This song apparently has 5 original songs but I only remember 3 of them (unless we counting the “Tex Richman Rap” which is way too short to be a song) and I saw that people saying that “Man Or Muppet” or “Life’s A Happy Song” being the best songs in the movie but then we would be denying the greatness which is “The Rainbow Connection” which kind of acts like the end song for the whole Telethon arc in the movie but of course it comes short so we can have Walter show his wonderful “talent” but I’ll save that for the nitpick/rant section of the review. The Rainbow Connection is just overall a great song and embodies what the Muppets were during their heyday but feels very nostalgic in that way which can come across as pandering to an ageing audience which this movie feels like what it’s doing for half of this movie. To go back to the plot for a bit, the whole movie feels like it’s just a revising of the Muppets formula and is full of call backs to the original show and this is best embodied in the whole telethon arc which does make sense since they are using their own talents to save the studio but now in a more modern style because the 80s is far beyond us now. I will go into the plot even more soon enough but let’s quickly touch base on the technical side of the movie.

I think the movie looks good for a live action movie especially with the Muppets. I think the puppetry displayed is good as it always has been in any media featuring the Muppets and it’s definitely better then the midget’s puppetry in “The Greatest Showman”. The movie is also well shot and the CGI is pretty good for a 2010 production but you have to remember that this is Disney we are talking about so they can afford to splurge on stuff like this. Also none of the actors feel like they are phoning it in for the whole movie. Jason Segal as Gary is good enough for the whole movie and Amy Adams portrayal of Mary was also pretty decent. Chris Cooper as Tex Richman was meh to me. I kind of wished they got someone like Christopher Walkins or Kevin Spacey to play Tex since they have proven they can play villains before but then you remember that Tex’s so called maniacal laugh is literally him saying maniacal laugh so maybe this was too cheesy for them (let’s forget Nine Lives ever existed). There isn’t much else to say about this side of the movie since well, it’s a Disney movie. Disney movies rarely flop and when they do, it’s rarely deserved but it’s because they are always the best of the best working on these movies to make them look as good as they do. I think I gave this movie more than enough praise so let’s move onto the bashing I promised four paragraphs ago but it’s not going to be directed to “The Greatest Showman”. 

If we were to start criticising this movie, I would start with Walter who is supposed to be the latest addition to the Muppet line up and he is so spectacular, his appearance both starts with this movie and ends with its somewhat average sequel (I am excluding any non-movie appearances) because he is quite clearly too good that he shouldn’t of have been created in the first place. Yeah, Walter is just unlikable as a character. If we are to not question the logic of two human parents giving birth to a Muppet (or the logic behind Muppets breeding or even Muppet/humans breeding), we can just jump right onto how annoying his character is. He acts like a childish fanboy for the whole movie and expects people to care about him because he is different and therefore he should be treated like a special and unique snowflake. I mean, he pretty much secretly guilty trip his own brother to take him to L.A which was originally planned for Gary and Mary where Gary could propose and then once in L.A, takes control of the whole trip and ruins the whole trip for both of them (mainly Mary though) because he wants to save the Muppet studios from a businessman who wants to make money for his business so his company may actually expand and open up employment opportunities but this is all stopped because a Muppet fanboy couldn’t let the Muppet legacy die even though it has a big enough legacy that could probably have the studios destroyed and there would be minimal impact. Walter might of been good on paper but in practice, he is just a knob and while we talking about knobs, can we talk about the character of Tex Richman? The guy is supposed to be the main villain for the whole movie but all the way until the end, he has a decent motivation. He wants to get oil found under the studios for money and as a businessman and owner of a business, it makes sense but then someone read the script and thought he wasn’t evil at all so he has a 90 degree turn and becomes even more stupidly evil for pretty much no reason. And if I am to continue with pointless crap, why is there so many unnecessary celebrity cameos in this movie? Like, the only ones that make sense is Jack Black’s appearance as Jack Black since he does get kidnapped later into the movie to make a forced appearance in the telethon arc but then you people like Zach from the “Hangover” trilogy showing up as a hobo called Hobo Joe for no reason and does nothing to advance the plot. Did they have some spare money from their $45 million budget so they decided to pay some A-listing celebrities to just randomly show up throughout the movie to fill in for extras. This is all just stupid to me but nothing truly frustrating because what’s frustrating is what goes down in the final ten minutes.

Before we dive into this, I will say this again, there will be spoilers and this section will spoil the final ten minutes of the movie so do whatever you want to do avoid the spoilers, just don’t say I didn’t warn you. So after the Rainbow Connection falls short of pulling in the money they need, all the Muppets start panicking about how are they going to raise the rest of the money but then Walter shows up in the middle of stage and ready to show off his talent of whistling. Yes, whistling is his talent and this has no set up during the whole movie so this is literally out of the blues and this nearly saves the studio until Tex steals and drives a car into a telephone pole, cutting off all the phone connections to the studio meaning no one can send in money by the phone and they are now only short by a cent and there is two things wrong with this. First things first, Tex shouldn’t of been able to even walk yet alone hijack a car and drive it considering he was thrown off the top of a building and landed flat onto a concrete floor couple of minutes ago so you would at least expect him to have broken some bones but nope, he only has a couple of scuff marks on him and he is A-ok so Tex is now quite clearly a terminator. The second problem is the fact they are only a cent short but they have this massive audience in the theatre. Sure they could of just donated a little bit more to make the 10 million dollar mark but nope, they just sit there because screw saving the studios, we need to have more cliches to happen. After a long and boring speech from Kermit about restarting their careers as a family or something like that and then they walk out of the studio to be greeted by all their fans because it’s totally not predictable at all. Gary finally proposes to Mary and Walter gets accepted into The Muppets but then, Tex shows up claiming that he owns the Muppets name and likeness now because of that stupid plot device of a contract but don’t worry, Gonzo shows up, still spinning his arm around after failing to let go of the bowling ball he was supposed to throw earlier in the telethon, claims that he has figured out how to let go and then throws right into Tex’s chest which sends him flying to the ground where he supposedly bangs his head and now has become made another 90 degree turn and is now a good person and just gives the Muppets their studio back. I don’t feel like I should be explaining what’s wrong with all this but I will anyway just in case you don’t understand. First, Gonzo just committed assault which should see him in big trouble but nope, he gets away with it. Secondly, Tex should be either seriously injured or dead after that, even if he escaped being seriously injured by falling off a building. The bowling ball should of easily cracked some of his ribs and there is a highly likely chance of his lungs being punctured by said broken ribs but nope, he just suffers a minor percussion which leads us to the final problem: They just used a Deus Ex Machina and I’m not talking about the critical acclaimed game series for the same name. For those out of the loop, a Deus Ex Machina is something that just happens to solve what seemed previously like a unsolvable problem and this whole “accident” is just a massive mess of Deus Ex Machina. Who can read that part and approve of it, thinking that was a good conclusion for this movie because Jason Segal and Nicholas Stoller who are the writers for this had to somehow fit in both the Muppets getting back their studio and also have the typical encouragement speech that all Disney movies need to have and thought writing in a Deus Ex Machina which is the first thing any writer learns to avoid doing in any plot since it suck out all the tension and conflict out of a scene and maybe even a movie faster then any vampire can suck out blood and lets not forget that then the director, James Bobin had to check off on this. It’s just stupid on so many levels and so frustrating but then you remember that Jason hasn’t written anything that spectacular with the same applying to Nicholas and right now, Nicholas and James are working on a live action Dora The Explorer movie in conduction with Michael Bay’s production studio, Platinum Dunes, I think the answer is very clear that these three are quite clearly incompetent. I think that’s enough bashing so let’s end this before I devolve into poor man’s Angry Joe.

The Muppets in general, has been part of my life since childhood. I grew up on “The Muppet Show” reruns and “Muppets Tonight” and their movies are always fun to watch but this? Ehhh, I don’t think it holds up to the Muppet legacy. As a kids movie, it’s fine but anything without gore is fine for kids these days but for an older audience, this is a very pandering film. I mean, this movie is full of call backs to the original show and righteous 80s references, dude (I promise I won’t do that again) and because of it, it feels like a right up nostalgia trip. As much as I beat it up, it’s still a passable movie by normal standards so here is your 6/10, Muppet movie. You may not live up to the Muppet standard but you are definitely entertaining at times for someone of my age (despite being very frustrating because of your plot) so if it ever pops up on tv or you find a disc copy on the cheap, pick it up because it’s still a nice and happy time for everyone, even if the numerous references leaves feeling either old or befuddled and to be perfectly honest, I wouldn’t mind seeing more Muppets in the foreseeable future but considering “The Muppets” TV show was canceled after one season which seemed like a very promising adult take on the Muppets and their last appearance was last year at the Super Bowl, maybe they are just relegated to making cameos these days which is a shame. Disney seems like they have forgotten that they own The Muppets ever since getting their hands on Marvel and LucasArts so they can just print money with Star Wars and The Avengers for now. Maybe later down the line, they will give The Muppets another crack and if they do, I wouldn’t mind seeing it even if it means they have to dumb it down even further for kids since it seems like they are getting increasingly more stupid with each generation.

So this might be my longest review to appear on this so far at double my standard. I mean, I’m hitting around 3060 words right now but anyway, next week will be the Berserk review which I have been sitting on for over a month now and after that, it’s going to be Steven Universe as my first TV show review because I wanted to see what’s the hoopla behind the possibly culturally sensitive yuri stuff and then we are moving onto the Saints Row trilogy of reviews so hooray for us. I’m going to have so much fun playing Saints Row 2 again. Unmodded, PC port of Saints Row 2. Mmm, so much fun.