Saints Row The Third: The Awkward Transition Game

I remember getting hyped about Saints Row The Third when it was announced. I was ten years old at the time and I was just so excited after seeing a dev video on it. I also remember making a sly remark about there being no difference in the graphics which got me schooled by my Aunty Sharon but that’s irrelevant. SR3 will probably remain my longest played game on my steam account (excluding any MOBAs) due to how replayable I find to be but that doesn’t mean I am blinded by nostalgia. If you were to ask ten year old me how I would feel about the game, I would say it’s an easy 9/10 and if you were to ask fifteen year old me the same question, he would probably say it has a different appeal compared to SR2 and give it an 8/10. The point is, I’m not going to be so easy on the game because if you were to ask me now, I think the game is just a streamlined SR2 which you might think is a good thing but it isn’t. I think the game losing some of its unique features and putting bit more of a “stupid fun” vibe then what the original had but we will get there soon enough. Let’s talk about the plot.

Following the events when you pretty much make the Ultor corporation your slave, the “Third Street Saints” gang has became a brand. Shaundi has cleaned up her act and is now a reality TV star, Pierce is selling Saints Flow and the player character is still being the boss. Following a promo heist which was supposed to train this guy called Josh Birk, they get in trouble due to Birk’s stupidity (he live up to his name at least), they get caught by the police who then releases them to the “Morningstar”. After revealing that the bank they tried to rob belong to them, their boss, the french bellend Philip offers them to work under him. Naturally, the boss rejects them and after killing all their gang members on the plane where the meeting is being held, Gat gets killed (and ready to be undone by SR4) and you crashed a plane and find yourself in Steelport. Philip, somehow surviving the whole ordeal then strips all control and money the Saints ever had inside the city so you have to climb back to the top and become top dog again. If that sounds interesting, don’t worry because most of that is undone two missions later and you kill off Philip four missions after that. This game’s plot is a lot less complicated and is more of a one way street with no freedom of choice. There is an illusion of choice from story tied unlockables with different cutscenes but it’s nothing game changing. I do think the plot does get better around the halfway act when they introduce STAG and their futuristic weaponry and we get a proper antagonist in the form of Killbane, masked luchador extraordinaire. I also think it becomes more of its own thing after the death of Philip since it feels less of a rerun of SR2 and tries to be its own thing with a somewhat “wacky fun” attitude but I think that’s a downside. While it is better, it feels like it’s trying to have the best of both serious gangster action and wacky stupid fun and it’s just makes this weird tone. Like, you can be doing one mission where you are hijacking this STAG plane and it’s all serious but then two minutes later, you are falling out of the sky in a tank and shooting at other tanks because you just blew up the plane’s cockpit and that somehow makes zombies. It’s stuff like that which stops the plot from being any form of engaging and just ultimately makes the plot feel like it’s been written by someone who doesn’t understand tone.

Character wise, this is also a weird gray area for me. Since they (temporary) killed off Gat, we now have Shaundi filling in his serious badass role which is a weird choice considering this is the same person who was doing drugs 24/7 in the previous game. I do kind of like new Shaundi but I still think old Shaundi was ultimately the more fun character. Pierce is still being Pierce so he gets the pass plus he also now does car karaoke with you so he is automatically best homie. Josh Birk is well, a berk and serves as nothing but plot device but he is kind of likeable as a character. There’s Oleg who serves as a reason why we have giant tanks called “Brutes” running around is fun to call in for a fight but that’s it. I think the best characters to come out of this are the two of three new lieutenants which help you take down the three gangs that make up the “Syndicate”. There is Zimos who is the sweet talking, autotune pimp who I find to be quite funny as a character with all his sex metaphors making the boss feel uncomfortable which is a fun combination. There is also Kinze who is just hard to explain as a character but I think she is best summed up as an awkward talking hacker and is so popular, she is one the few who got carried over to SR4 and I don’t blame them. The third one and only unlikable one of the lot is Angel who was Killbane’s former partner and is just the stereotypical grumpy old man who wants revenge type and therefore, isn’t interesting and that also applies to our antagonists. Like, Philip is just there as a figurehead for whole organisation who gets squished by a ball later so he gets no fleshing out. The DeWynter Sisters who pretty much run the Morningstar are there to have one killed off and the other to join the Saints later. Matt Miller was a cool character as a cyberpunk hacker who is in charge of the Deckers but he runs off like a pussy after you beat him up a bit. Killbane and the STAG commander, Cyrus, are pretty much the same. They are both bald twats of psychopaths with the only real difference being one is fighting for the good side and the other on the other side. So character wise, Volition kind of dropped the ball on it but the gameplay does make up for it but not very well.

The gameplay is still the same as we expected from Saints Row 2 but with some changes. To begin with, they have streamlined the character customisation options so there is no options to change your permanent facial expression or your walk cycle but they added a option to change the size of your junk. Yeah, that’s what I wanted, an option to change my junk, not all this other stuff you cut out. Thanks Volition for streamlining the player experience for no reason at all. I mean, they also got rid of layers so you can’t layer your clothing so I hope you like all these presets. This needless streamlining just seems a very stupid decision that only a executive would think was a good idea and talking about streamlining, they also streamlined the whole map. Steelport overall feels a lot smaller than Stillwater and top of that, they got rid of all the secret spots hidden around the map so there is no longer a mall to explore or hidden pathways to use as shortcuts. It just feels like they took out the fun out of exploring the map and talking about taking the fun out of things, they also cut out most of the activities. While story progression is no longer tied to the respect bar which is a god send, activities only serve to give you money and territory and think because the activities take a back seat now, they decided to cut out all the fun ones. There is no more Septic Avenger, no more Fuzz and what do we have in its place? Well we have Professor Genki's Super Ethical Murder Fun Time which is just you shooting mascots in a very linear obstacle course and that’s not a good replacement. I want to spray shit all over buildings, not shoot mascots because I wanted to do that, I would just walk out into the streets and shoot someone with my laser rifle. They did add more fun weapons like a giant dildo bat called “The Penetrator” and a gun that can call down an air strike but compared to SR4, it just seems mediocre. While the DLC adds a Chumgun that summons a giant shark to kill people and a bazooka that launches octopuses that can mind control enemies and explode at the touch of a button, it just doesn’t compare to SR4 and that’s the problem here.

As good as SR3 is, it just feels like a prototype for SR4 which does what SR3 want to do much better. I am going to say this again but SR3 is seriously tone deaf because it’s trying to have two different cakes and eating it at the same time. They want to be serious but also have silly, wacky fun times and it’s just horrible. I still think the game is fun but I don’t enjoy it for the plot because it’s just a mess. The plot does introducing interesting scenarios like fighting in a cyberspace which gives you the equivalent of the mega man mega buster but it just adds to the initial problem of tone deafness. This is the final formal complaint I have against the game since I still think the gameplay is solid and that’s the most important aspect of a game like this. The plot is simply there to complement the gameplay but the plot does still need to stand on its own two legs and that’s the stumbling point. The game just ultimately feels like a transitional point of the series as it streamlines the SR2 gameplay and acts as a base for SR4 which will achieve what SR3 wanted to do in a much better way. Is it the runt of the litter? No, because Gat Out Of Hell exists but that’s for next week. Still, SR3 was a sacrifice that had to be made for SR4 to exist as the whole plot kind of acts like it wants to cut off all the old ties the game had while setting up elements for new direction they want to take the series in. It is ultimately up to you to decide if the game did the last two games justice or not but I think this was a very messy transition due to the mixing of the two themes.

6/10. That’s all I am willing to give this. It’s a game that had to happen but there was definitely a much better way of doing it and if they took the time to do that, this would of been a 8/10 easily but they didn’t so here's their 6/10. I would still recommend picking it up on steam if you want to experience the Saints Row series but just be wary if the plot gets too stupid for you. Next week will mark the end of this trilogy of reviews with Saints Row 4 and I can tell you, I am both excited and very sad because I get to talk about SR4 but I also have to talk about Gat Out Of Hell. That’s not going to be a fun paragraph to write but let’s talk about the plans coming after this. So after another round “The Undiscussables”, I have two mangas lined up for proper reviews in the form of “Bleach” and “World Trigger” so that’s fun for non manga readers. If that seems daunting, I am planning to review “Black Panther” and the new Mama Mia movie coming up so I will pad it in there for you lot who don’t care about manga reviews. For those looking for games, don’t expect that for a while since I am already feeling burned out doing SR2 and SR3 back to back for these reviews but if I was to do a game review, it might be on a real life game or on another MOBA depending on how I feel. Also for those who want to see some of my video content, there is a link to my YouTube channel in the sidebar where you can watch my own YuGiOh series and the occasional League replay.