I don’t know why I am going to even try to crunch this plot into something explainable because it’s standard. Martians come to Earth, the POTUS tries to establish peace but after shooting a dove, the aliens start a full scale invasion and we follow different groups of people trying to survive and eventually beat the aliens by the end of the movie. It’s the bare bone essentials for any alien invasion plot but I don’t mind because going into this, you know this going to be a cheesy parody of a homage to the genre. Every character in this movie is a stereotype, from the dumb rednecks to the over confident president type, they each contribute fun moments to the movie. Like when the stereotypical washed out boxer type decides to sacrifice himself so these others can escape but he does it by challenging them to a fistfight so we have Jim Brown fist-fighting a bunch of CGI aliens and winning. It mocks that “Independence Day” sense of justice because the whole “Yeah, America” thing is just stupid and the movie knows it and it runs with it. It makes fun of all the types of feelings you are supposed to feel from these sort of movies and it’s fun. I mean, the aliens are eventually beaten by the rednecks playing “Indian Love Call” in a very spectacular and hilarious fashion and it treats it with a straight face. They just beat the aliens by playing a man yodelling and they doing it with a straight face. This is the standard for any B-List movie because the poor writing and overacting is what I would expect from a low budget film and it’s hilarious. Yes, I do have my complaints but I will save that for later because I want to get onto the stars of the show.
If you want me to talk about the actors, I am not going to talk about them just yet because I want to talk about the Martians because despite having no proper voice acting and just being made of CGI, they carry this whole film when the actors can’t. While each human character have their moments, the aliens are a lot more funny because they just great for slapstick and other stupid moments. What about the fact that under their suits, they are just wearing red underpants with white swirls on it and they walk around like this on their ship. What about during their first landing, they say they come in peace but after shooting a dove, they pretty much go “well screw it” and start shooting all the humans who they disintegrated until they are just skeletons. What about the fact they go running around saying “Don't run away. We are your friends” as they trying to kill them or what about they look like green shrooms and all they say is “Ack”. I can list all their best moments but that would be ruining the movie for you. I do think Tim managed to capture that same appeal that most B-List monsters have with the martians by not only making them incredibly cheap and stupid looking but also making them terrifying and they really do compliment the cheesy acting of the human actors. All the actors bring their Grade A cheese when they are on screen and it just complements the saucy base which is the martians. They know they are playing 2D flat stereotypes and they run with it. I already talked about how big man Jimmy boxed a bunch of martians in a fistfight earlier and how he brings home the cheddar with it but then we have cases like when we have Danny Devito trying to bargain with a couple of the aliens and then instantly getting shot. Another wonderful example is when the POTUS gives one final peace speech to their Martian leader when confronted with his death. Jack Nicholson does it with such confidence and cheesiness, it sounds like a real political speech that would come out of a certain cheesy whatsit. This to me is a wet dream in film form and I enjoy all of it so let’s move onto what else just adds to the charm of the movie.
Technically speaking, it’s shit which is good. For me, a good looking B-List movie is a shit looking one and this movie isn’t any different. It might of used top-end technology to create the aliens and everything else that they had to CGI but these days, it looks incredibly dated which just adds to the charm. Mars Attack is like a good aged cheese and it’s that it’s gets better with age. Apart from that, it’s well shot and edited and while I do kind of hate the frantic jumping between characters, it’s incredibly well paced for an alien invasion movie and that’s all I can say about this. As much as I love this movie, I have not much else to say about it. I have zero criticism for it and I do that’s a flaw with any B-List movie. With a normal movie, you can easily go “well this is bad because of this” but with a B-List movie, you can look at the flaws and go “Well that’s just apart of the film’s charm” and I guess that’s why I can’t say much about it. You see, writing a review for something you hate is easy because you can easily talk about why you hate those aspects but when you cover a really good movie, you can only praise what’s good and there isn’t much meat to bite into. I am having that dilemma right now because if you didn’t get it already, I love this movie including its horrendous flaws which is why this is a little shorter than I wanted it to be.
If you want me to talk about the actors, I am not going to talk about them just yet because I want to talk about the Martians because despite having no proper voice acting and just being made of CGI, they carry this whole film when the actors can’t. While each human character have their moments, the aliens are a lot more funny because they just great for slapstick and other stupid moments. What about the fact that under their suits, they are just wearing red underpants with white swirls on it and they walk around like this on their ship. What about during their first landing, they say they come in peace but after shooting a dove, they pretty much go “well screw it” and start shooting all the humans who they disintegrated until they are just skeletons. What about the fact they go running around saying “Don't run away. We are your friends” as they trying to kill them or what about they look like green shrooms and all they say is “Ack”. I can list all their best moments but that would be ruining the movie for you. I do think Tim managed to capture that same appeal that most B-List monsters have with the martians by not only making them incredibly cheap and stupid looking but also making them terrifying and they really do compliment the cheesy acting of the human actors. All the actors bring their Grade A cheese when they are on screen and it just complements the saucy base which is the martians. They know they are playing 2D flat stereotypes and they run with it. I already talked about how big man Jimmy boxed a bunch of martians in a fistfight earlier and how he brings home the cheddar with it but then we have cases like when we have Danny Devito trying to bargain with a couple of the aliens and then instantly getting shot. Another wonderful example is when the POTUS gives one final peace speech to their Martian leader when confronted with his death. Jack Nicholson does it with such confidence and cheesiness, it sounds like a real political speech that would come out of a certain cheesy whatsit. This to me is a wet dream in film form and I enjoy all of it so let’s move onto what else just adds to the charm of the movie.
Technically speaking, it’s shit which is good. For me, a good looking B-List movie is a shit looking one and this movie isn’t any different. It might of used top-end technology to create the aliens and everything else that they had to CGI but these days, it looks incredibly dated which just adds to the charm. Mars Attack is like a good aged cheese and it’s that it’s gets better with age. Apart from that, it’s well shot and edited and while I do kind of hate the frantic jumping between characters, it’s incredibly well paced for an alien invasion movie and that’s all I can say about this. As much as I love this movie, I have not much else to say about it. I have zero criticism for it and I do that’s a flaw with any B-List movie. With a normal movie, you can easily go “well this is bad because of this” but with a B-List movie, you can look at the flaws and go “Well that’s just apart of the film’s charm” and I guess that’s why I can’t say much about it. You see, writing a review for something you hate is easy because you can easily talk about why you hate those aspects but when you cover a really good movie, you can only praise what’s good and there isn’t much meat to bite into. I am having that dilemma right now because if you didn’t get it already, I love this movie including its horrendous flaws which is why this is a little shorter than I wanted it to be.
If I was being a completely unbiased critic, I would say this is an easy 5/10 film and that you shouldn’t watch it but I am not because I am not Metacritic. It’s said that you should only follow critics that share similar views or opinions with you because that way, you can definitely know what you would love and what you would hate and this logic is why I hate sites like Rotten Tomatoes because they try to generalise it for the largest audience possible so I am going to be giving my personal opinion about things as per usual. With that said, I’m giving Mars Attack 10/10 which I know I shouldn’t be throwing around so liberally but screw it. I am a B-List movie fantic and this is a just a glorious case of what the genre can achieve. If you also like B-List movies, watch this immediately. There will be nothing else that will compete with this in our entire existence on this planet. Also next week might be Naruto, I don’t know anymore. I am just very tired while writing this review so remember guys to check out my YouTube channel in the side bar and also my steam profile if you want to help me out and donate some games so I can keep reviewing games for the blog.
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