Mars Attack: Why I Love B-List (and Maybe Also Cheese)

It’s a been a while since I have done a movie review and I thought why not do my favourite movie of all time. Today, I want to talk about my favourite Tim Burton movie and what I will always consider a B-List classic, Mars Attack. I remember watching this when I was eight with my gran on our usual movie Monday and while it did scare me, it did influence me to start looking into films which lead me to become a filmmaker in high school. While I no longer have the passion to direct or star in films, It did lead me to start writing which snowballed into this. So in other words, you have a Tim Burton movie to thank for these reviews. I do still adore this movie though because the things you can do with a B-List type of movie is amazing and I adore directors who still try to keep this genre alive. I live for cheesy movies with questionable production values because you can see the blood, sweat and tears that directors shed when they try to work their best with small budgets. While Mars Attack doesn’t have the same budget as a B-List movie, Tim Burton still pays homage to that in the movie but I don’t want to keep masturbating forever so plot synopsis.

I don’t know why I am going to even try to crunch this plot into something explainable because it’s standard. Martians come to Earth, the POTUS tries to establish peace but after shooting a dove, the aliens start a full scale invasion and we follow different groups of people trying to survive and eventually beat the aliens by the end of the movie. It’s the bare bone essentials for any alien invasion plot but I don’t mind because going into this, you know this going to be a cheesy parody of a homage to the genre. Every character in this movie is a stereotype, from the dumb rednecks to the over confident president type, they each contribute fun moments to the movie. Like when the stereotypical washed out boxer type decides to sacrifice himself so these others can escape but he does it by challenging them to a fistfight so we have Jim Brown fist-fighting a bunch of CGI aliens and winning. It mocks that “Independence Day” sense of justice because the whole “Yeah, America” thing is just stupid and the movie knows it and it runs with it. It makes fun of all the types of feelings you are supposed to feel from these sort of movies and it’s fun. I mean, the aliens are eventually beaten by the rednecks playing “Indian Love Call” in a very spectacular and hilarious fashion and it treats it with a straight face. They just beat the aliens by playing a man yodelling and they doing it with a straight face. This is the standard for any B-List movie because the poor writing and overacting is what I would expect from a low budget film and it’s hilarious. Yes, I do have my complaints but I will save that for later because I want to get onto the stars of the show.

If you want me to talk about the actors, I am not going to talk about them just yet because I want to talk about the Martians because despite having no proper voice acting and just being made of CGI, they carry this whole film when the actors can’t. While each human character have their moments, the aliens are a lot more funny because they just great for slapstick and other stupid moments. What about the fact that under their suits, they are just wearing red underpants with white swirls on it and they walk around like this on their ship. What about during their first landing, they say they come in peace but after shooting a dove, they pretty much go “well screw it” and start shooting all the humans who they disintegrated until they are just skeletons. What about the fact they go running around saying “Don't run away. We are your friends” as they trying to kill them or what about they look like green shrooms and all they say is “Ack”. I can list all their best moments but that would be ruining the movie for you. I do think Tim managed to capture that same appeal that most B-List monsters have with the martians by not only making them incredibly cheap and stupid looking but also making them terrifying and they really do compliment the cheesy acting of the human actors. All the actors bring their Grade A cheese when they are on screen and it just complements the saucy base which is the martians. They know they are playing 2D flat stereotypes and they run with it. I already talked about how big man Jimmy boxed a bunch of martians in a fistfight earlier and how he brings home the cheddar with it but then we have cases like when we have Danny Devito trying to bargain with a couple of the aliens and then instantly getting shot. Another wonderful example is when the POTUS gives one final peace speech to their Martian leader when confronted with his death. Jack Nicholson does it with such confidence and cheesiness, it sounds like a real political speech that would come out of a certain cheesy whatsit. This to me is a wet dream in film form and I enjoy all of it so let’s move onto what else just adds to the charm of the movie.

Technically speaking, it’s shit which is good. For me, a good looking B-List movie is a shit looking one and this movie isn’t any different. It might of used top-end technology to create the aliens and everything else that they had to CGI but these days, it looks incredibly dated which just adds to the charm. Mars Attack is like a good aged cheese and it’s that it’s gets better with age. Apart from that, it’s well shot and edited and while I do kind of hate the frantic jumping between characters, it’s incredibly well paced for an alien invasion movie and that’s all I can say about this. As much as I love this movie, I have not much else to say about it. I have zero criticism for it and I do that’s a flaw with any B-List movie. With a normal movie, you can easily go “well this is bad because of this” but with a B-List movie, you can look at the flaws and go “Well that’s just apart of the film’s charm” and I guess that’s why I can’t say much about it. You see, writing a review for something you hate is easy because you can easily talk about why you hate those aspects but when you cover a really good movie, you can only praise what’s good and there isn’t much meat to bite into. I am having that dilemma right now because if you didn’t get it already, I love this movie including its horrendous flaws which is why this is a little shorter than I wanted it to be.

If I was being a completely unbiased critic, I would say this is an easy 5/10 film and that you shouldn’t watch it but I am not because I am not Metacritic. It’s said that you should only follow critics that share similar views or opinions with you because that way, you can definitely know what you would love and what you would hate and this logic is why I hate sites like Rotten Tomatoes because they try to generalise it for the largest audience possible so I am going to be giving my personal opinion about things as per usual. With that said, I’m giving Mars Attack 10/10 which I know I shouldn’t be throwing around so liberally but screw it. I am a B-List movie fantic and this is a just a glorious case of what the genre can achieve. If you also like B-List movies, watch this immediately. There will be nothing else that will compete with this in our entire existence on this planet. Also next week might be Naruto, I don’t know anymore. I am just very tired while writing this review so remember guys to check out my YouTube channel in the side bar and also my steam profile if you want to help me out and donate some games so I can keep reviewing games for the blog.

E3 2018 Special: The Hypeculture Convention

Needless hypeculture. I hate it but it’s necessary because without hype, you don’t have anything to look forward to in life plus I would be a hypocrite if I did say I hate it which I did which makes me a hypocrite. Either way, Why am I bring this up? Because it’s been two-three weeks since E3 2018 has dropped which is the definition of needless hypeculture in the gaming sphere and I wouldn’t be a self proclaimed game journalist/reviewer if I didn’t cover it. I would just be a teenager with a lot of time on his hand but never mind that. E3 has came, got us all hyped up before it ran off to hide for another year in its usual fashion as it either leaves us disappointed or flying high as a kite. I am going to be talking about the noteworthy stuff from each conference, for better or worse, and give my personal thoughts on it. I did say I was going to do a game review but I was halfway through it before I realised how boring it was so I’m doing the E3 Special this week plus it’s technically about games so take it for what it is worth. With that done, let’s talk about Satan-I mean EA.

E3 used to just be a thing to show off new products to investors and stockholders and going into E3, I never remember this fact but EA never fails to remind me of this fact. Their press conferences are always flat with a lot of cringe worthy moments (and saying cringe makes me cringe) and because of it, I would say this easily the most uninteresting one to talk about it which is funny because the same applies to the games. There is literally nothing noteworthy to praise about the games they showed off so let’s trash them. Anthem looks like EA’s attempt to take on Destiny because they want to start another dick measuring contest with another publisher. I mean, their title franchise of Battlefield has revealed in the first eight minutes of E3 that it’s going BATTLE ROYALE because they want to both fight Activision and Epic Games for the Battle Royale Crown so EA is going to waste money trying to fight them. I mean, their licensed sports games still sell like hot cakes for no reason so they got the money to burn because they are only programmed to make all the money these days. The only glimmer of hope from the mess was the fact that Anthem is being made by Bioware who are known for their great story telling skills but this is an MMO game and it’s being published by EA so we know what’s getting shoved in. While on the topic of microtransactions, they planning to release a new Command and Conquer game. Yeah, a new Command and Conquer game FOR MOBILE. To say I am disappointed in EA is an overstatement. I mean, it’s EA. You can’t enter an event where EA is involved without feeling automatically disappointed. Apart from that, nothing else that was shown is worth talking about so let’s move onto Microsoft who actually got some good shit.

I’m going to start with the elephant in the room. Cyberpunk 77 looks amazing and there is no doubting it. It’s just what I would expect from CD Projekt Red because they make no compromises when they make games. They don’t shove in needless gimmicks or microtransactions. That want to give you a solid experience from the get go and that’s why I say you should buy that game the second it comes out. CD Projekt Red is one of those studios that always constantly hit every single expectation people make for them. The trailer they showed for it was such a show stealer and that was a trend for Microsoft this year because it seems like they had brought out the dump trucks of money to have all the show stealers. They had Just Cause 4 which is just what I would expect from the Just Cause series and that’s stupid, explosive fun and if you want to see more of that game, go to the OfficialNerdcubed channel because he actually has alpha footage of the game on his channel so just go watch that video if you want more of that. The other one I’m going to quickly touch base on because I am going to gush about it in the next paragraph is Fallout 76. That is just great looking but let’s talk about the shit parts of the conference so Jump Force. I am going to carefully dissect my reasons why I think Jump Force is going to be very disappointing. Let’s start with the style of the game because oh my god, it’s looks like shit. This is an anime game so why are they using realistic 3D models? Like, this is coming from Bandi Namco who makes and publishes the “Naruto Ninja Storm” and “One Piece Pirate Warriors” Games so they know how to do this properly. On top of that, Dragon Ball Z Fighters come out earlier this year and it looks much better then this so this just looks like crap compared to them. What’s not helping is the fact that they are smooshing in characters from all the Jump series so they have to try to mesh very different styles of shounen together to make this but don’t worry, Light from “Death Note” is the game if the trailer is to be believed so they officially don’t give a crap. They are just throwing all the marketable stuff into one game and hopes it sells and I kinda of brought the pitch and I’m somewhat hyped but I know I will hate most of it. Before ending this, I wanna quickly talk about the new FromSoftware game that looks like Japanese Dark Souls and it looks far more better then Dark Souls and that’s it and also Devil May Cry 5 is a thing alongside with Crackdown 3. I haven’t played any of the Crackdown games but I have played the remake of DMC so I will cover my thoughts on Devil May Cry at a later date. That’s all so unless you wanna talk Gears Of War 6 and Halo Infinte, I’m just going to move onto Bethesda.

Bethesda is still new to the press conference thing but they sure have mastered how to get a crowd hyped for their games which is a shame they pulled a Sonic Anniversary right at the start. They gave Rage 2 both a really weird teaser trailer before the conference started on the stream and then they got this guy to sing this song about dying which was really weird. To be perfectly honest, most of this year’s conference was very bad. They announced Doom’s sequel and then told us to wait until Quakecon find out more on it and then they announced Wolfenstien Young Blood which is a coop experience and ended with that. They released more content for Prey and also did some stuff for that Elder Scrolls CG app. Rage 2 looked promising but I am disappointed that it’s trying to be more “eccentric” because the original Rage was a lot dark and dramatic but then Rage 2 comes along and destroying all of that for stupid fun. I think a stupid fun game should be the basis of a game not be built on the remains of another game and although is some cases where this doesn’t apply (Look at the Saints Row series) but this isn’t one of them. So the first half of the conference was horribly executed so Bethesda had to pull out their trump card again of Todd Howard. This man might as well be the company logo or at least the PR manager because he is pretty much the face of Bethesda now and being the gaming incarnation of Jesus, he saved the whole thing with the chained sequence of reveals of Fallout 76, Starfield, Elder Scrolls phone game (which looks amazing for a phone game) and Elder Scrolls 6. Just for that alone, I am willing to give Bethesda “Best Conference Of E3” award as well as “Best Comeback Of E3” but we haven’t gotten to Nintendo yet. Never the less, Fallout 76, despite being a multiplayer game, is still going to have that single player option for all those who want their solo experience but they are also adding co-op which means you can now trek the wastelands with an actual human being now. And also you can launch nukes at people for no reason but the fact that nukes are fun, as long as we ignore the fact they caused the Great War to begin with. Bethesda in the end wasn’t too bad and produced most of the most hyped games from E3 and talking about hyped games, Square Enix.

Square Enix pretty much brought nothing new to the table. We got more details on Just Cause 4 which has natural disaster elements now which looks amazing and does add more flair to a game which is full of it. We are getting a new Dragon Quest game if anyone cares about Dragon Quest. The Switch is getting a rather unique looking RPG who’s name I forgot but still looks very interesting due to the very 2D art style. We are getting a new Platinum Games game called Babylon’s Fall and as a fan of their games, I was so hyped because a Platinum Games game is a rare and beautiful thing for anyone who likes hack and slashes like me. We got more on Kingdom Hearts for all you Disney fans and Final Fantasy XIV is getting a crossover with Monster Hunter of all things. We also got to see more footage for their new game based in their new “Life Is Strange” universe which looks very childish and Lara has finally gone full Jason in her latest trailer featuring really bad AI. I like how Square Enix has turned a game about raiding tombs to killing people, all ala Assassins Creed style. There isn’t much to say here since the conference was only thirty minutes long and only featured teasers stuff, in fact, it wasn’t even a conference. They did the Nintendo Direct thing and just streamed a video of their reveals which is good because when they did the live thing, it was very boring and dull. The only other thing I want to bring up is The Quiet Man which sounds interesting on paper since it’s about a deaf hero but I think it’s going to be executed horribly. Overall, Square Enix brought nothing much of interest outside of Just Cause 4, Kingdom Hearts 3 and Babylon’s Fall and nothing of value was gained so let’s talk Nintendo.

Nintendo didn’t have much going for it except for a new SMASH ANNOUNCEMENT. I’m not a massive Nintendo fan but when I was watching the Nintendo Direct live, I was fanboying in a discord chat with a bunch of other equally hyped Nintendo fans because Smash just has something about it which makes it an amazing party game and because of it, everyone who ever played a smash game just joins the massive hype machine when a new Smash game is announced. I was especially hyped when they announced that all the previous Smash characters will be in this game which means the Pichu agenda is back in full force and the fact that they ended the whole thing with the announcement of fan demanded Ridley is just beautiful. I mean, there is other stuff to talk about like a new Animal Crossing game but that doesn’t matter because Smash. There was also a really cool looking mecha game for the Switch but I don’t care because of Smash. I feel like I can deflected any complaint about me not talking about anything else because Smash. In fact, I am tempted to just end it there because Smash but we got two more conferences so let’s move on to Sony. Oh god, Sony.

I don’t want to talk about Sony because their conference was on the same level of embarrassing disappointment as EA’s but this time, it isn’t because they were trying to push money and investors before consumers. It was because it was just so cringe worthy. Like, for some stupid reason (probably because marketing), they had musicians come on the stage and play music for no well explained reason. I think it’s to set the mood for each game they plan to show off beforehand but it just felt so unnecessary. And talking with needless crap, Last Of Us Two. You can fight me over this opinion but I think the game doesn’t need a sequel and Naughty Dog should either go back to Crash Bandicoot or just start another new IP. I also like how the trailer opened up with showing Ellie being a lesbian which is only a big surprise to those who aren’t familiar with the Last Of Us universe so pretty much, it’s only there for bonus points. Apart from that, it looks like that usual standard third person stealth them up with a side of that post apocalypse lacks of ethics so nothing has changed with the game. There was some Destiny 2 promo stuff for their new expansions for those who care and after another awkward musical segway via a white man trying to play traditional Asian music via flute, they revealed what I think was a pretty good looking game going by the name of “Ghost Of Tsushima”. For me, it looks like a case of “Looks amazing, plays like crap” and I am hoping that I am wrong about that. This game is the most promising thing coming out Sony’s conference so I have high hopes for it. There was also “Control” which also looks amazing but it’s a pre rendered so I am not buying into it plus it looks like a Sci Fi shooter game which means it’s every single shooter game these days. They revealed Resident Evil 2 Remastered for all those who like Resident Evil before it spiraled into a trash chute after 4 and we learnt more about Death Stranding NOT. It’s still super vague and the trailer left us even more confused than before which seems to be the standard for this game now which is why I am going stop going on about it now. They revealed more Kingdom Hearts 3 stuff for the third time in E3 because hype but at least this time, they didn’t recycle the same footage and added some new stuff to it. Nioh’s sequel was announced and I think that’s a good thing. I don’t know, I never played the first one but to end on a high note, we finally saw some new stuff about that new Spider-Man game. It looks promising but that’s it. That’s all I want to say about the other disappointment of E3 so let’s finish this off with Ubisoft.

As per usual, Ubisoft opened with their stupid dance number to promote “Just Dance” because people still buy it for Ubisoft to make a big fuss about it. They did at least follow up with that mess with more Beyond Good And Evil 2 which is nice of them but it’s seems like they baiting all the fans with the young Jade thing and this being prequel, they just pretty much released the ending to the game for all those with half a brain cell. They then talked about Rainbow Six Siege content which if I recall is the only game Ubisoft isn’t releasing every year with new editions. I do want to eventually get into the game but they did nothing to encourage to buy it any time soon. There was an embarrassing intro for Trails Rising and then we got more crap thrown at us about The Diversion 2. They announced DLC for that weird X-Com Mario game they made but then they revealed their pirate ship battling game called “Skulls And Bones” because ship battles is the new hot and fresh thing now, alongside with Battle Royales. If I don’t sound enthusiastic, that’s because, spoilers, Ubisoft brought nothing I found interesting. I mean, they announced a collab with a film company to make a creepy horror game with maybe FMV because everyone totally loves FMVs. I just going to end this paragraph here before I devolve into depressing rants because oh, For Honor is getting new content because apparently people are still playing it. You know what, screw it. I’m just going to go now.

And that’s E3 in a nutshell. I didn’t bring up two other conferences but the PC Gaming Show can be summed up as “Ten minutes of games, three hours of masturbating over PC parts”. As for the other one, it was just Devolver Digital doing what Devolver Digital does at these E3 events and that’s making fun of the latest trends. If you ever need a good pick me up after the usual bog standard corporate crap, just watch the Devolver Digital conferences because they are always worth a good laugh. Next week will be a movie review and no, it’s not Black Panther because screw Marvel at this point. I want to do a movie that I like and I will know it won’t end with me, ranting my ass off for a whole paragraph. Remember to check out my video content via the link in the sidebar and maybe also check out my steam profile if you feel like donating me any games.

The Undiscussibles: Slice Of Life and Other Stuff

I really didn’t want to to go back to doing this so soon but circumstances lead me to this. I was working on a Need For Speed review but halfway through it, I got bored and when I get bored of writing on a review, I know it’s going to be bad. You are going to have to wait another week before I do my E3 rundown so just put up with this for now. I do also have Naruto lined up but I’ll also try to pad in some other stuff in between but today, I want to gush over some more smaller titles. It seems like I only talk about more well known titles when I do talk about mangas so I’m going to recommend some more newer titles that has flown under the radar. I won’t be scoring anything in this series for now on since I will only feature ones I would recommend so let’s just get this over with.

The first one I want to talk about is “Oijichan Shinanai” where we follow a retired hero and his angel companion and the only thing I have to say is that the MC is my role model now. This man may look old but this guy is such a smooth talker, he actually cheated death because of it. His angel companion was supposed to take him to heaven but he then seduces the angel and effectively stopping her from taking him to heaven. On top of that, he also seduced a succubus because he is that good. This man is probably 50-60 years old and he was able to seduce both an angel and succubus because he is that good. Unfortunately that’s all I can say about this title because it’s only 8 chapters long at time of writing. I still think the MC is worth reading it alone but everything else about feels really standard. It is a fantasy setting but they are yet to expand on that concept and the supporting characters are rather cut out cliches. In other words, it’s a rather nice little manga with a lot of potential so I would recommend it if you don’t mind waiting for new chapter releases.

The next one is “The Story Of An Onee-san Who Wants To Keep An Highschool Boy” and I think the title says it all. It’s just a story that follows an onee-san (The term used to describe young women who are older then you or just to call someone your big sister) who ends up keeping a teenage boy after his parents sold him because they are idiots. No, it’s not that dark but I found it rather funny to see twenty something women just losing her mind at the fact she gets to keep this boy in her house. For me, most of the charm of the manga comes from the onee-san since she acts more like a family friendly yandere. You know, instead of trying to murder for your love and attention, she is just acting like a hyperactive schoolgirl who is excited she gets to hang around her crush. I find it rather cute and I am sucker for romcoms so this just hits the spot for me. I would recommend it if you are into more cutesy things like this.

If you haven’t noticed the trend yet, I mainly been covering romance based ones and I plan to keep on theme with “Tonikaku Kawaii” or its possible English title of “Fly Me To The Moon”. We follow Yuzaki Nasa as he asks a girl out after getting hit by a car chasing her but she only agrees if they get married which he accepts. Forward a few years, his supposed wife finally shows up and they begin their married life. The manga only follows their everyday life together and I find to be a very standard slice of life  marriage manga. It tries to have an element of intrigue by playing up the mystery of Nasa’s wife past life but it feels unnecessary because I like it when it focuses on them adjusting to their new life while finding out new things about each other. I do still recommend it on the basis of it being an enjoyable read but if you want more plot, I wouldn’t try with this manga.

I do like this to not be completely all slice of life so let’s talk about “Iron Ghost No Shoujo” which is the newest series from Rei Mikamoto who is probably more well known for his other title of “Chimamire Sukenban Chainsaw”. I am going to give Chimamire it’s own review at some point after I cover another certain title to help give context but I think Iron Ghost deserves to get one now, even if it’s super brief. I honestly don’t want to say anything about this since I think it’s something you should go into completely blind but I am still going to give some context. All you need to know is that most of these fights happen with Iron Ghosts which people possess with their actual souls. Even if I don’t think it won’t be as good as Chimamire, it still has this very creepy aesthetic and I do love the designs of the iron ghosts. I don’t like horror but the aesthetic of it has always been a love of mine since they have that freedom to tap into that primal fear and just like Chimamire, Rei taps into that to make a very appealing battle manga. It’s just so wonderful good and while it only consists of 12 chapters now, this manga has the making of something great. I would say this a must read for anyone who wants darker manga to read.

Now to jump back into the slice of life thing we have going, “Gokushufudou: Way Of The House Husband”. I think it’s pretty funny. That’s all I have to say about it since it only consist of eight chapters. The whole gimmick of the manga is that we follow a former yakuza who is now a simple house husband and it’s pretty funny. Seeing this guy trying to live like a house husband while all his former yakuza buddies are dragging him into other things just makes great comedy happen. That’s all I have to say about it so let’s move on.

Let’s do one last one so let’s talk about “Bijin Onna Joushi Takaiza-san” which is more Slice Of Life but in 4-Koma form. I am not a big fan of 4-Komas due to how they are formatted but I did enjoy reading this. It’s pretty much the life of Takeda who works at a company where his boss is rather distracting due to her “well endowed” chest. Yes, the whole joke of this series is how big her breasts are but considering this is manga, you are probably used to seeing large breasts. The series is more focused on the working relationship between him and his boss and it’s not bad because I did find it funny and enjoyable but I don’t think it’s not as good as other 4-Koma series. Still a solid recommendation but don’t expect much.

I really do enjoy doing these short little reviews. I usually have a huge manga backlog which I usually want to talk about in these reviews but then they are usually either too short for a full feature review so this just lets me get them out of the way while padding out some of my reviews materials and talking about review material, I do have some plans for the next couple weeks. I already mentioned the Naruto review and the E3 special but I do also plan to cover “Fire Force” and “Death Note” later down the line for those who still want more manga reviews despite the fact that 80% of this blog is full of them. I also got a review planned out for some last gen games since I am bargain hunter when it comes to games and for those who want movie reviews, there is still the Mama Mia movies to cover but I also have some films that suit more of my taste. Don’t worry, I will eventually cover all the MCU and maybe DCU movies but I want to cover some more older stuff which have more of a cult following status. For those who want to get other content, there is a link to my YouTube channel in the sidebar and also a link to my steam profile if you want to friend me on Steam or just be a kind donator if you want to me talk about a certain game. I am just a poor teen so I appreciate anything that comes free.

World Trigger: Too Dull To Be Triggering

I kind of made myself make the decision between doing this or a game. I do feel like I will need another week to at least finish the story so I'm going to be reviewing World Trigger this week. Yeah, I am not excited either to review another shounen manga this week, especially after Bleach but I have nothing else interesting to talk about until I finish reading History’s Strongest Disciple Kenichi or get the money to buy the Black Panther DVD. So yeah, we gonna bare the dull feeling of boredom which is the World Trigger reading experience. Now, this doesn’t mean it’s on the same level of Bleach. I actually think World Trigger is the better one of the two but not by much let’s get into the plot so we can see why I think this is rather dull.

“World Trigger” follows the life of Osamu Mikumo who is a mere trainee agent for the agency known as BORDER who are in charge of taking care of the alien invaders known as “Neighbours”. The agency has co-opted the alien technology to use in their fight which all mainly use Trion as energy which can be found in human beings (you will need to remember this since it’s an important plot device). When Osamu meets an neighbour that looks suspicious human known as Yuma who wields a black trigger (Triggers are pretty much their weapons which are powered by Trion), it kicks off the plot. Pretty much from there, Yuma and Osamu become teammates and form their own squad with Osamu being the captain despite being established to be utterly useless for the most part. There is a few things I want to discuss about the characters but for the most part, I think the plot is serviceable. It’s nothing mind blowing but at least it’s coherent which is something I can’t say about much manga but I do think it has a pacing issue. Yes, I am going to complain about it again but it’s nothing major this time because I don’t think it’s as bad as Bleach. The story progress is slow for the most part and while there is nothing wrong taking your time as you tell your story, I think it takes too long to get to anything of interest. Like, the current arc right now (at time of writing) is a ranking battle (not worth spoiling) to see who gets to go on this trip into the enemy neighbour territory and while I am glad something interesting is going to happen, this arc has been going on for way too long. While it does set up character growth moments as well as flesh out more of the other BORDER squads but that’s not really fun. They just spoiled us with a massive invasion set piece which was fun and introduced a bunch of new stakes on top of introducing new baddies and now you are going to follow it up with this? Yeah, I can’t help but feel a little bit disappointed. World Trigger is just a lot of talking and training against other agents for the most part which is nice and all but I want to see them fighting the aliens more often since they have interesting designs and offer much more better fights. I also hate how most of these neighbours are just human looking because when I think alien, I don’t think humans with slightly different appearances and talking about appearances, let’s get to the characters.

I am going to save time here and say it now; the character design is yet again flat as a board. The mangaka quite clearly went to the same school as the Bleach mangaka because they both draw by the rule of “A single physical character trait is all that is needed”. I mean, this is a shounen manga on top of being a sci fi themed one so where is the interesting character design? Osamu looks a like a background extra, Yuma’s defying physical trait is his white hair and the token female character, Chika, looks like a typical loli with just a really boring flat design. What about the big boss man at BORDER who is ambiguous evil, what is his physical trait? Well, he has a big scar going down his face because apparently all ambiguous bad guys has to have a visible scar to show that they have a tragic past and a grudge against the enemy. Like, I get this is supposed to be boys but don’t treat your readers like idiots. There is nothing wrong with using cliches but this is rather insulting. He already acts like an bad guy so you don’t need to make it more obvious. Everyone in this series just looks boring and unmemorable. I had to double check I was getting the right names to faces because of this and this is the second time I had to do it for one of these reviews (you can guess what’s the other one) but anytime someone can’t remember your characters after reading +100 chapters, you have definitely screwed up the designs. If I was to credit any form of character design, I think I would credit him for the Trion soldier designs because they actually look like aliens and they are far more visually appealing then the humanoid neighbours because I see humans on a regular basis. I want to see more unique designs, especially from a series with sci fi elements. It’s just a shame that they start getting phrased out for the far more dull humanoid alternatives. Dull is the name of the game for this series and they do carry it on with the overall style of the manga.

For me, the style of the manga is also very flat. It just doesn’t feel right for the series. While series like Berserk has a far more rougher design to it to suit the tone of the series, the drawings in World Trigger are a lot more smoother in general so it has this very clean look to it which is nice but it’s dull. I think a good series to define by its style of drawings but when it’s just really generic like World Trigger’s style, it’s just blends in with the rest of the other generic crap that gets spewed by Jump most of the time. It’s also because of this flat styling, there isn’t as many good spreads and you know I’m all about that spread. I have put in an example of this just below the paragraph and you can see why I don't like it.The only thing I think I like about the series from this aspect is the fact that the volume covers are very nice which I can’t say about some plot aspects so you know what time it is. Get the rubbish bin out because I am about to trash talk the plot for something it lacks: stakes.

I did mention how they introduced new stakes earlier in the plot section but I’m going to retcon it now. I meant to say they FINALLY INTRODUCED stakes to the series, well at least ones I would consider worth taking notice of. Stakes are important to a plot since it’s the cause of tension when depicting dangerous scenarios and stakes are usually introduced through character building because you should of gained a form of attachment to them by then. It’s because of stakes, we start to care about the well being of the character so it comes natural to root for them and you don’t want to see them lose. World Trigger really doesn’t have it for me but that’s mainly because I don’t see myself rooting for anyone since they are all so dull but let’s say, I did have some form of attachment to one of these characters. For example’s sake, let’s say I’m invested in the character of Osuma, despite being as flat as the plank of wood he was based on. Well, I still won’t feel any form of tension because of two major plot related things and the first one is the Trion body system. You see, all BORDER agents fight using Trion body suits which allow them to take damage without physically hurting their real bodies with some other benefits. Notice how I said that the Trion body stops their real body from being injured. This means they are under no threat of being killed during most of their fights. On top of this, there is the bail out system where if their Trion body gets seriously injured, they get teleported back to base to avoid being killed. So there is zero risk when fighting unless you really care about bystanders and the state of city but the manga doesn’t really touch on that aspect enough to care about it. The creator has at least tried to fix the lack of stakes with the mass invasion arc but he ends up just generating a massive plot hole (minor spoilers coming up). You see, Osuma gets seriously injured when he had to bail out of his Trion body in order to escape from an humanoid neighbour. It is set up that you can’t be harmed by Trion based weapons if you aren’t in a Trion body but then he gets nearly killed by a Trion based weapon. The mangaka literally broke his own rules just to make tension because he was unable to make any before this and I hate it when creators break their own established rules for plot reasons. It just shows poor writing techniques because a good writer shouldn’t have to break his own established rules if he avoids writing themselves into a dead end.

Before we wrap this up, I need to talk about the anime because I actually had time to watch the first episode (subbed) and it’s decent. It’s pretty much a pretty standard pilot. The voice acting isn’t bad and the animation is pretty nice but it’s dull like its source material and I think that’s all I have to say about the anime and manga. It’s just really boring to read but it doesn’t mean it’s bad. I have read this manga two times over now and I didn’t stop to have a mental cool down break during both reading which means I wasn’t bored enough to put it down. It felt like it just puts me in a trance of “I want to know what happens next” and that’s good. It’s just a shame what happens next is completely predictable so there is no surprise. I honestly think this is a very dull manga with a lot of potential to be entertaining and I think the mangaka is getting there very slowly. He is currently setting up elements for the next arc which does have me excited but it’s during this really boring, no stakes rank war arc and I have to criticise what’s is given to me so 5/10. Its just a very standard shounen manga which is why I had very little to say about this because everything else I haven’t mentioned is just decent enough to not be noteworthy. Next week will be the game review of an really old EA title which was somewhat a fond nostalgia trip for me but I won’t be as gentle in the review. For all my other content I make, link in the sidebar to my YouTube channel where I post really bad montage of me playing really bad YuGiOh decks in a really bad matter on a weekly basis.

Bleach: I Drank Some After This

Did you like our break from doing just game reviews? Well too bad, we are going back to manga reviews now because I decided so and this week, we are doing Bleach and not the chemical. I am talking about the mainstream, piece of shounen crap from Shounen Jump Weekly which just ended almost two years ago at time of writing. If you can’t tell, I didn’t enjoy my time with Bleach as I don’t enjoy my time with many mainstream manga but you have to read mainstream stuff if you want nice long reads and Bleach is nearly 700 chapters (excluding Omakes) which seems amazing until you realise that One Piece has just hit over 900 chapters and that has no intentions of ending anytime soon. I am not a fan of shounen manga to begin with since I prefer more interesting stories and shounen just hands itself to being a very standard battle manga at the core but I do like One Piece and Naruto to a degree so I am little bit more open to shounen but hot damn, I regret doing that for Bleach and we will get to that after this plot summary.

We follow a high school student known as Ichigo Kurosaki who can see dead spirits and if you think that’s interesting, don’t worry, the whole series completely forgets that he has this power. After meeting the soul reaper known as Rukia, he steals her powers and become a soul reaper as he kills the main enemy known as Hollows. Going from there, we follow Ichigo as he develops as a soul reaper. Now, that’s a really basic run down of it because I have a lot of complaints to make against the plot. Let’s begin with the fact that the first lot of chapters which I like because it’s just a very standard shounen set up of us following the main character as they develop and meet new characters and introduce new allies and villains. It goes off from that into Rukia getting captured and on wait to be executed for giving her soul reaper powers to someone else so Ichigo and his friends, Chad, Orihime and Ishida go save her from the other soul reapers and this is where it becomes a mess. It’s pretty much the four of them with an extra idiot declaring war on the soul society and while all this is going down, there is this other plot line happening and it just makes following the plot very confusing. It ends with them setting up the next big bad guy for the next arc and Ichigo gets accepted as a substitute soul reaper by the end of it so he gets forgiven for pretty declaring war against them. That’s just a very basic rundown of what I would consider to be the first two arcs and there is a total of five arcs in this whole series and I would consider one of them to be unnecessary and it should of ended after the third one. I do have some grips for the plot but that’s for later since I want to trash the storyline. I personally like the first arc because it’s pretty standard for a shounen manga and it doesn’t go on forever. Yes, I am criticising arc sizes again but this time, I am doing all the arcs because they take forever. The second arc was 100-150 chapters long which felt long then it should due to padding and I was already burned out by this point but then the next arc was just over 200 chapters long. I took breaks between reading each arc of a day so I could just recover and I was still feeling completely burned out because it just felt so boring to read through. One Piece also has ridiculously long chapters but I was having fun reading it so I wasn’t feeling as burnt out. You may bring up the argument of “If you aren’t enjoying, don’t read it” and I would say you are 100% right but I was somewhat enjoying it for some things but due to how dragged out these arcs are, the fun just become very minimal for me. Thankfully the fourth arc only lasted like 50 chapters despite being a waste of 50 chapters since it could of been compressed into 10 chapters at max but then the final arc is another 200 chapter slog. If all the chapters weren’t so drawn out, this would of been easily a 300-400 chapter manga and it would of been much better because of it but all the battles are strung out for no reason at all except padding it out because this was a weekly series so everything has take forever. I am going to criticise the plot a bit more but the characters deserve some attention or I guess in this case, a knife to gut themselves due to shear unlikability.

These characters, like every other shounen manga, are supposed to be simple and appealing to the biggest audience possible which is why when I say only found two of the many characters this series has to be likeable, you have done goof. For those wondering who I like, I like is Kenny and Chad and it’s not just because they look like bad asses but more because they are one of the visual appealing ones. Kenny stands out because of his stupid looking hair and Chad is interesting just because he kind of looks like a hot Latino but on top of that, I do like how they are depicted in the story. Ken is depicted as this strong person who pretty much wreaks anything and everything and this is before he unleashes his sword’s true form. It’s a shame that he is pretty much a 2D character like most shounen manga is like because if he was fleshed out, I think he alone could carry his own story in a different story but we don’t get that so shame. Chad is considered to be one of the “main characters” and while he does have some fights on the manga, it just feels like he is one of the “cheerleading squad”. You know, the type where the writer just makes them watch the fight between the actual main character and the current baddie of that arc and contribute very little or jack all to the current situation. It’s a problem with most of these shounen manga where they have other main characters standing around and watching the main fight but what makes these forgivable is the fact they make up for it. For example, in “History’s Strongest Disciple Kenichi”, most of the action is tournament related so the other mains have an excuse to stand around because they are spectators. If they can’t do this, they can always do the “One Piece” thing where each of the crew members have their own fights in an arc so it feels like they are contributing to the story’s progression. Bleach sort of does the second thing but it’s not done well enough to draw readers away from that fault which is why I bring it up. I should probably address the somewhat of a backhanded comment when I said I found Ken and Chad to be the most visual appealing ones and I say this because they all look plain and boring.

Apart from Chad and Ken, I can think of three other characters that looks interesting enough to be called colourful and they are considered support characters, maybe even minor characters if I was to backhand the character design a bit more. These guys are mainly based on one trait and that’s their character design and while this isn’t very offendable, these guys are very plain because of it. For example, our main character’s design trait is “he has orange hair and therefore, he looks like a delinquent” and that’s not appealing at all. A main character should look visually colourful while being its own unique design that you can spot from anywhere. Ichigo is just dull and plain looking and if I was to see him on anything, I would just think he is a guy with orange hair and this is bad. I don’t see how such a dull looking manga with such dull looking characters was able to be even considered popular enough to be published weekly in Jump of all things. I will dig into more of my thoughts on the success of dull characters when I do “World Trigger” but to end it now, I think the manga is bad in both a plot view and a character view which should of been the death sentence for this manga but it wasn’t so I don’t know what’s wrong with people these days. This manga was first published during 2001 so maybe it was just a bunch of emo kids/hipsters just liking these series because of the soul reaper theming. That’s all I want to complain about on the character side of things so let’s hope back over to the plot side of things because I am going to criticise a very important thing that I feel like is a important thing called pacing which is a concept that’s apparently obscure to most shounen manga writers since most of them never manages it properly.

Pacing is a very important tool when it comes to any form of media with a story element. You want to make sure things are not rushed or drag on too long as it can affect the audience’s enjoyment or understanding of the plot. This is something most weekly publications don’t get right since they somehow make most chapters feel not only extremely drawn out but also rushed which you would think would be impossible but they do it. Bleach is one of the biggest offenders of this because it make important plot elements just feel rushed and not very well explained and then make fights that should only last two-three chapters at most, last something ridiculous like ten-fifteen chapters. It because of this, the manga feels way too long at points and that’s why these arcs just drag on for no reason. There are cases where long arcs aren’t such a drag like for example, One Piece has hundred chapter long arcs as well but the difference between Bleach and One Piece is the fact that One Piece is constantly fun to read/watch on top of having great pacing through while Bleach is just depressing and boring. If Bleach has better pacing, I think Bleach would a little bit more tolerable and maybe actually fun to read but it isn’t. I will be constantly bring up pacing in most of my reviews for now on since as an aspiring writer, it’s important to take note of these sort of things and it bugs me when they don’t do it right.

Before ending this review, something I wanted to touch on how visually appealing this manga looks. While the character design is rather flat, I think the spreads in the series is just amazing. I have compiled my favourite ones from the entire series below this review to see them for yourself. I personally think these spreads are better than what One Piece produces so there is at least that going for it. Also, I haven’t watched the anime so I have nothing to say about it but I presume as boring as the manga.


To say I hate this manga would be a slight understatement. Do I hate it? Yes. Is it the worst thing I ever read? Definitely not. I have read worse than this for sure but this is very low on the spectrum for me. Why this was popular enough to run in Shounen Jump Weekly for nearly seven hundred chapters is beyond me but this is a solid 3/10 for me. This manga has a lot to improve on but it has ended now so what can the mangaka do for his next series? Well he can start by getting pacing right and improving his character designs and I think it would be a solid manga by then. I mean, it doesn’t mean great but being decent is a great start. Next week might be another game review but if not, we are talking “World Trigger” which won’t be as harsh as this review but I can’t say it’s going to be an outstanding one. If you want to see my other content, link to my YouTube channel where I post a weekly montage of my YuGiOh experience online for you like that sort of things.

Gallery:

Saint's Row 4: The Ideal Saint's Row Game

Welcome to the final Saints Row review until I tackle the original or Volition decided to make a proper SR5 game that isn’t Agents Of Mayhem. I remember getting hyped about this game back in 2014. I remember using Instagram to share my reactions to all the new stuff they have been revealed and how I lost my mind when they teased Gat’s return with the line “Gat Is Back”. I would later buy it in December right after I finish performing in a local Christmas parade where I represented my dance school. To say that Christmas was the best Christmas I ever had so far would be accurate. It is now nearly four years since its release and I finished this game fives times over by now so say I am experienced in the game is an understatement. I know everything about this game from where to get the hidden dildo bat, how to get the noisy cricket rip off and even how to farm cash easy which I made a steam guide for. I know this game as well as the back of my YuGiOh cards and I am more than ready to talk about this game so let’s get that plot summary done.

Totally not following the events of the true ending of SR3, the game leads us into a cold opening of a COD parody where we are introduced to Aisha, an MI6 agent and her handler, Matt "Cyberpunk Ass" Miller. After killing a bunch of terrorists and their leader, the now evil Cyrus from SR3, the player character disables a nuke while it’s flying in the air to that one good Aerosmith song. A couple months after the prologue, it’s revealed that the player character is PODUS now and he has recruited Keith David (the actor) and Benjamin “Motherfucking” King straight out of SR1 to be his chief adviser and yes, the Motherfucking part is required when saying his full name. After making a series of decisions where you either tell cancer to go kill itself or give everyone cake, punch a senate member either in the head or the “special area”and deciding high five Josh Birk or not (the answer is you always accept it), aliens called the Zin attack. After you run into the Oval Office and exercise your right according to the third amendment, you start killing aliens while you watch your crew get abducted. After utilising the world’s most American anti-air artillery array to take down alien ships, you confront the leader of the Zin, Zinyak where he continues to smack you around until you become unconscious. You wake up in a 50s styled nightmare world and after breaking that, it’s revealed you are in a simulation and Zinyak drops you into another simulation to where the Saints never existed. Kinze who helped you break the original simulation, tutorials you through some other stuff and helps you unlock super powers. After using the first set of super powers to escape to the real world, you wake up and escape from a matrix like pod and you find yourself on the alien mothership. After killing your way again through aliens, Kinze and Keith David saves you in an spaceship and you escape from the mothership to “Baby Don’t Hurt Me”, Zinyak blows up the earth, killing the rest of the people he didn’t abduct. The president actually having a morally right thought for once, decides to exact revenge on Zinyak for destroying the earth while rescuing the rest of his crew. Keep in mind, this is alone is only the first two-three hours of the game. There is still a lot more craziness to cover but that’s for later.

If SR3’s plot was a convoluted mess, SR4’s plot is a convoluted mess with parodies and references mixed in to make it it even more convoluted but this time, it’s the good kind of convoluted. You know, the kind of convoluted mess that Hellsing and the alike like to snort during their down time. What makes this better than SR3 is because it keeps one tone throughout the whole game and you know this because they set it up within the first hour of game play. You are the president fighting aliens in a simulated city where you have superpowers and you can use weird sci-fi guns to kill aliens. This isn’t SR3 where it wants be taken as a serious gangsta story while trying to cooky and wacky. This is straight up, balls to the wall, crazy fun from begin to end and I love it. It doesn’t want to be taken seriously because it wants you to be entertained and having fun instead. They filled this game with callbacks, references to other series and even straight up parodies of other pop culture icons. The missions where you rescue your homies are full of their worst nightmares which is either a segue to have more crazy fun or recall old elements. For example, Pierce’s rescue mission starts with you shooting mascots in the penthouse suite from SR3 and you end the mission controlling the giant statue from SR3 to beat up a giant can of Saints Flow called Paul. There is also Gat’s rescue mission where you play in a retro side scrolling beat em up which renacts the events of the Ronin storyline from SR2. Yes, it does have serious moments like when you renact the scene where you have to save Shaundi from Veteran Child again but that’s because you can’t renact these scenes in a non-serious manner but it’s necessary for plot progression so you can’t really fault it for doing this. I also think it doesn’t take away from the fun because I still think it’s a fun callback, tone issue otherwise but you only can view this as a fun callback if you are invested in the other games. The plot is very tied to the previous game due to all the references the game makes to the older games. There is a surprisingly a lot of SR1 callbacks which confused me as well when I first played it and still don’t know much about the characters who came from SR1. This also applies to the references like Keith David appearing in the game because he just seems really random without the context of him being the voice of Julius Little from SR1 and SR2 and it gets even worse if you never seen “They Live” to understand why he is friends with Roddy Piper. While the series has finally fixed its tone issue with this game, they just made another one in the form of alienating newbies and that can be a turn off. So that’s just another issue but remember last week, I said the plot is simply there to compliment the game play and unlike SR3, the plot and the game play go hand in hand.

As expected, the game play is the same as SR3 but they have added more features this time, mainly superpowers. You start off with the basic super speed and super jump and progressing later into the game, you can unlock blast, telekinesis, stomp and aura which comes with optional unlockables and variations if you spend the time to do the side missions for them or collect giant blue orbs to upgrade the abilities. The fun thing is that if you just avoid collecting them and focus on getting missions and activities done, you will still find yourself progressing to these unlocks since the side missions are just a checklist which you can do between main missions which is a great game play design choice. They also added a little more customisation options and no, they didn’t re-added layers. What they did instead is add more clothing options at cost of getting rid of some of them but they also added weapon customisation. While upgrading used to be a simple levelling system, you can now choose what upgrades you want to get first and you can also change your weapon skins. You can have sci-fi looking skins like making the rapid fire SMG look like the Robocop gun or you could just be silly with them like making your burst rifle into a water soaker which can completely the absolutely fun alien weaponry they added. Ignoring the dubstep gun because it’s pretty much synonyms with the game and needs no attention since we already know it’s great fun, there is a black hole launcher, a bounce rifle which makes any fight into a game of pinball, an abduction gun for abducting idiots, a rifle that decodes everything with a single shot. If you have the DLC, you have stuff like the Plunger gun, the ‘Merica and there is even a gun that launches knives at your opponent. The weaponry options are crazy but they are the fun crazy so it’s acceptable just like the new activities. While some are very boring like the rift ones, you have the fight club coming back as Super Power Fight Club where you fight old villains with superpowers. If punching people isn’t your thing, there is the returning Professor Genki activity in the form of “Mind Over Murder” where you fling things with your telekinesis into floating hoops. There is also the returning assassinations and chop shop missions from SR2 but they have been jacked up to suit the nature of the game now so the targets are super powered and often references to other games like having another time to kill that bellend, Julius Little. What I am trying to get at here is the game is just a really fun romp to play through and I do find myself booting it up time to time just to run around the map and have fun but I still do have some problems with this game.

I’m going to start with my most petty complaints and that’s the enemies. Since the game has became more of superhero sandbox than a gangster one, it has had to update the enemies so they can possess some form of threat to you and while I don’t mind some of them, the late game ones are can be very annoying and in some cases, pace breakers. The first one I want to complain about is the murder bots which are just T-800 rip offs and while they are easy enough to deal with, they can be annoying due to the fact if you don’t blow up the head, they will crawl at you and blow up. On top of this, they take a lot of bullets to deal with and they are often equipped with mine launchers which are annoying if you haven’t unlocked the no rag doll upgrade. There is also these annoying rolling robots which are pretty much invisible except for this one weak spot behind their head and it’s really annoying to position yourself behind them so you can shoot them there but they don’t compared to the Wardens. These guys are supposed to be the main mini boss in the story line and you can absorb them matrix style to acquire new powers but these guys can spawn in after clearing out certain data points or if you hit the max level on the wanted bar which I hate. If you are like me, you probably want to start shit and just have fun in a constant gun fight between you and the enemy but these guys spawn in and despawn all the other enemies so you have to one v one these guys and after you defeat them, your wanted bar is empty and you have to start again. It just ruins the fun of having the police on you all the time and I just found myself turning on the no warden cheat just so it can’t ruin my fun. So wardens are a piece of crap but they are much better than the ironic hellhole I am going to briefly talk about which Gat Out Of Hell (And I will be getting into spoiler territory here for both Gat Out Of Hell and SR4’s ending).

I don’t usually talk about DLC unless they are really bad to the game or offer more necessary content to the base game and guess why I am bring up Gat Out Of Hell. I hate this game with a passion because it killed off any chance of us getting a SR5 since this is our SR5 considering this retcons most of the series with its multiple endings and considering Agents Of Mayhem, they ruin any chance of the Saints Row series coming back. I hate it because one of the endings is God giving Gat (who has just killed Satan after he kidnaps the president) a bunch of fun choices and one of them was recreating the earth. Now, if you have read the setting section of the wiki article for Agents Of Mayhem, you will notice it says it takes place after God recreated Earth which means, what was teased at the end of SR4 is now impossible to do. For context, the end of the SR4 has them implying that Zinyak was so smart, he had the access to time travel. Now, I will martyr myself to prove my point that any form of time travel ruins any media since you can retcon anything you want but in the context of the Saints Row series, I could made SR5 a really fun game which can be full of even more fun callbacks and interesting scenarios and weaponry but they murdered that chance with this game. If they did the one where Gat got Aisha back, it would of been completely on the clear to do SR5 but no, we have Agents Of Mayhem and I haven’t played Agents Of Mayhem but I am actively mad at Volition for shooting themselves in the foot because they just ruined their own set up and guessing by Agents Of Mayhem’s score, it wasn’t worth it. You may argue that it’s standalone DLC and therefore shouldn’t be tied to the main game but you are wrong. If it was like Blood Dragon where it’s own little universe without being connect to the main series, it would be fine but Gat Out Of Hell isn't that because it’s a continuation of the series so it’s a part of Saints Row 4 and I have to review wants presented to me. Gat Out Of Hell ruined the end of the game and to an extent, the whole series for me just because it wanted to set up Agents Of Mayhem and I am not happy with it. Plus gameplay wise, it’s just a reskin of SR4 except everything is now themed to be demonic themed and the only thing I like is the fact they added a proper flying mechanic that the main game doesn’t have. They also brought dead characters and a chance to shoot Dex multiple times over so I praise the game in that aspect of it means if I have to put up with Dan Vogel’s shit again. Overall, it’s a piece of shit in terms of plot but gameplay wise, it’s just some more Saints Row patented fun.

Despite the cancer lump that is Gat Out Of Hell and the fact the series is alienating to new players from a plot stand view, I would still recommend this game hands down just for the game play alone. It’s a fun and weird sandbox game that you won’t see many AAA studios doing these days outside of Volition and I wouldn’t have it any other way so 7/10. It would be an 8 if they didn’t add the steam workshop and we all know how I feel about that from the L4D2 review. As for the remaining games I haven’t covered yet, Saints Row is right now a “break in case of emergency” game and Agents Of Mayhem is currently at a retail price of 30 USD so I might pick it up and review between all the manga reviews since I was hyped for this game because it seemed like they finely tuned the SR formula even more. As for everything else, refer to last week’s review for what the manga reviews will look like and link to my YouTube channel in the sidebar if you want to watch my own YuGiOh series and the occasional league replay.

Saints Row The Third: The Awkward Transition Game

I remember getting hyped about Saints Row The Third when it was announced. I was ten years old at the time and I was just so excited after seeing a dev video on it. I also remember making a sly remark about there being no difference in the graphics which got me schooled by my Aunty Sharon but that’s irrelevant. SR3 will probably remain my longest played game on my steam account (excluding any MOBAs) due to how replayable I find to be but that doesn’t mean I am blinded by nostalgia. If you were to ask ten year old me how I would feel about the game, I would say it’s an easy 9/10 and if you were to ask fifteen year old me the same question, he would probably say it has a different appeal compared to SR2 and give it an 8/10. The point is, I’m not going to be so easy on the game because if you were to ask me now, I think the game is just a streamlined SR2 which you might think is a good thing but it isn’t. I think the game losing some of its unique features and putting bit more of a “stupid fun” vibe then what the original had but we will get there soon enough. Let’s talk about the plot.

Following the events when you pretty much make the Ultor corporation your slave, the “Third Street Saints” gang has became a brand. Shaundi has cleaned up her act and is now a reality TV star, Pierce is selling Saints Flow and the player character is still being the boss. Following a promo heist which was supposed to train this guy called Josh Birk, they get in trouble due to Birk’s stupidity (he live up to his name at least), they get caught by the police who then releases them to the “Morningstar”. After revealing that the bank they tried to rob belong to them, their boss, the french bellend Philip offers them to work under him. Naturally, the boss rejects them and after killing all their gang members on the plane where the meeting is being held, Gat gets killed (and ready to be undone by SR4) and you crashed a plane and find yourself in Steelport. Philip, somehow surviving the whole ordeal then strips all control and money the Saints ever had inside the city so you have to climb back to the top and become top dog again. If that sounds interesting, don’t worry because most of that is undone two missions later and you kill off Philip four missions after that. This game’s plot is a lot less complicated and is more of a one way street with no freedom of choice. There is an illusion of choice from story tied unlockables with different cutscenes but it’s nothing game changing. I do think the plot does get better around the halfway act when they introduce STAG and their futuristic weaponry and we get a proper antagonist in the form of Killbane, masked luchador extraordinaire. I also think it becomes more of its own thing after the death of Philip since it feels less of a rerun of SR2 and tries to be its own thing with a somewhat “wacky fun” attitude but I think that’s a downside. While it is better, it feels like it’s trying to have the best of both serious gangster action and wacky stupid fun and it’s just makes this weird tone. Like, you can be doing one mission where you are hijacking this STAG plane and it’s all serious but then two minutes later, you are falling out of the sky in a tank and shooting at other tanks because you just blew up the plane’s cockpit and that somehow makes zombies. It’s stuff like that which stops the plot from being any form of engaging and just ultimately makes the plot feel like it’s been written by someone who doesn’t understand tone.

Character wise, this is also a weird gray area for me. Since they (temporary) killed off Gat, we now have Shaundi filling in his serious badass role which is a weird choice considering this is the same person who was doing drugs 24/7 in the previous game. I do kind of like new Shaundi but I still think old Shaundi was ultimately the more fun character. Pierce is still being Pierce so he gets the pass plus he also now does car karaoke with you so he is automatically best homie. Josh Birk is well, a berk and serves as nothing but plot device but he is kind of likeable as a character. There’s Oleg who serves as a reason why we have giant tanks called “Brutes” running around is fun to call in for a fight but that’s it. I think the best characters to come out of this are the two of three new lieutenants which help you take down the three gangs that make up the “Syndicate”. There is Zimos who is the sweet talking, autotune pimp who I find to be quite funny as a character with all his sex metaphors making the boss feel uncomfortable which is a fun combination. There is also Kinze who is just hard to explain as a character but I think she is best summed up as an awkward talking hacker and is so popular, she is one the few who got carried over to SR4 and I don’t blame them. The third one and only unlikable one of the lot is Angel who was Killbane’s former partner and is just the stereotypical grumpy old man who wants revenge type and therefore, isn’t interesting and that also applies to our antagonists. Like, Philip is just there as a figurehead for whole organisation who gets squished by a ball later so he gets no fleshing out. The DeWynter Sisters who pretty much run the Morningstar are there to have one killed off and the other to join the Saints later. Matt Miller was a cool character as a cyberpunk hacker who is in charge of the Deckers but he runs off like a pussy after you beat him up a bit. Killbane and the STAG commander, Cyrus, are pretty much the same. They are both bald twats of psychopaths with the only real difference being one is fighting for the good side and the other on the other side. So character wise, Volition kind of dropped the ball on it but the gameplay does make up for it but not very well.

The gameplay is still the same as we expected from Saints Row 2 but with some changes. To begin with, they have streamlined the character customisation options so there is no options to change your permanent facial expression or your walk cycle but they added a option to change the size of your junk. Yeah, that’s what I wanted, an option to change my junk, not all this other stuff you cut out. Thanks Volition for streamlining the player experience for no reason at all. I mean, they also got rid of layers so you can’t layer your clothing so I hope you like all these presets. This needless streamlining just seems a very stupid decision that only a executive would think was a good idea and talking about streamlining, they also streamlined the whole map. Steelport overall feels a lot smaller than Stillwater and top of that, they got rid of all the secret spots hidden around the map so there is no longer a mall to explore or hidden pathways to use as shortcuts. It just feels like they took out the fun out of exploring the map and talking about taking the fun out of things, they also cut out most of the activities. While story progression is no longer tied to the respect bar which is a god send, activities only serve to give you money and territory and think because the activities take a back seat now, they decided to cut out all the fun ones. There is no more Septic Avenger, no more Fuzz and what do we have in its place? Well we have Professor Genki's Super Ethical Murder Fun Time which is just you shooting mascots in a very linear obstacle course and that’s not a good replacement. I want to spray shit all over buildings, not shoot mascots because I wanted to do that, I would just walk out into the streets and shoot someone with my laser rifle. They did add more fun weapons like a giant dildo bat called “The Penetrator” and a gun that can call down an air strike but compared to SR4, it just seems mediocre. While the DLC adds a Chumgun that summons a giant shark to kill people and a bazooka that launches octopuses that can mind control enemies and explode at the touch of a button, it just doesn’t compare to SR4 and that’s the problem here.

As good as SR3 is, it just feels like a prototype for SR4 which does what SR3 want to do much better. I am going to say this again but SR3 is seriously tone deaf because it’s trying to have two different cakes and eating it at the same time. They want to be serious but also have silly, wacky fun times and it’s just horrible. I still think the game is fun but I don’t enjoy it for the plot because it’s just a mess. The plot does introducing interesting scenarios like fighting in a cyberspace which gives you the equivalent of the mega man mega buster but it just adds to the initial problem of tone deafness. This is the final formal complaint I have against the game since I still think the gameplay is solid and that’s the most important aspect of a game like this. The plot is simply there to complement the gameplay but the plot does still need to stand on its own two legs and that’s the stumbling point. The game just ultimately feels like a transitional point of the series as it streamlines the SR2 gameplay and acts as a base for SR4 which will achieve what SR3 wanted to do in a much better way. Is it the runt of the litter? No, because Gat Out Of Hell exists but that’s for next week. Still, SR3 was a sacrifice that had to be made for SR4 to exist as the whole plot kind of acts like it wants to cut off all the old ties the game had while setting up elements for new direction they want to take the series in. It is ultimately up to you to decide if the game did the last two games justice or not but I think this was a very messy transition due to the mixing of the two themes.

6/10. That’s all I am willing to give this. It’s a game that had to happen but there was definitely a much better way of doing it and if they took the time to do that, this would of been a 8/10 easily but they didn’t so here's their 6/10. I would still recommend picking it up on steam if you want to experience the Saints Row series but just be wary if the plot gets too stupid for you. Next week will mark the end of this trilogy of reviews with Saints Row 4 and I can tell you, I am both excited and very sad because I get to talk about SR4 but I also have to talk about Gat Out Of Hell. That’s not going to be a fun paragraph to write but let’s talk about the plans coming after this. So after another round “The Undiscussables”, I have two mangas lined up for proper reviews in the form of “Bleach” and “World Trigger” so that’s fun for non manga readers. If that seems daunting, I am planning to review “Black Panther” and the new Mama Mia movie coming up so I will pad it in there for you lot who don’t care about manga reviews. For those looking for games, don’t expect that for a while since I am already feeling burned out doing SR2 and SR3 back to back for these reviews but if I was to do a game review, it might be on a real life game or on another MOBA depending on how I feel. Also for those who want to see some of my video content, there is a link to my YouTube channel in the sidebar where you can watch my own YuGiOh series and the occasional League replay.